I Guess It's Time For Some Serious Stuff

So, it's almost midnight and I'm on my iPod so this post is probably going to be pretty short and I know that I already made a post for the day, but I just felt like posting again.

I know that you guys are probably already annoyed enough with all my randomness and talk of lame things so you probably want to hear about how lame and sad I am even less, but this is my blog and I am going to write about what I want to write about.

So I'm lying on my bed in the middle of the night and I just spent about the last half hour crying.  Now like I said, I know that you probably don't want to hear a sob story and I'm lame for the things that I cry about, but I'm going to keep going.

I was mainly crying because I'm scared; I'm scared about the future and what it potentially has in store.  I told you earlier that I still live with mom and that's mostly because I'm just not ready to live by myself.  I'm scared of what living alone entails: my psychologist-major friend is pretty sure that I have some form of dependent-personality disorder and I'm inclined to believe her.  I'm terrified of the thought of having to live by/take care of myself and I hate saying it because it sounds so sad and selfish, but it's the truth; that's just how I feel and I wish I could change it.  I'm nervous about classes this coming semester and paying for them and I just kind of feel like I'm drowning all of the sudden.  I still haven't done my taxes for the year either.  Another thing I'm sad about is that apparently my mom is hoping to move in a year and I don't know what I'm going to do.  I want to stay here because this is where I'm going to school and this is where my best friend is - and I have a really hard time making friends, but I know that I'm not in a place where I can live without my mom - both financially and emotionally.  And I guess who knows, maybe in a year I will be in a better place, but I highly doubt it - especially the emotionally part.

Well, as I stated earlier its pretty late so I think I'm going to go to bed.  Sorry about such a downer post.  And don't worry, I'll still write another post tomorrow - I guess it's today now... But I'm not counting this one towards my goal.  I'll also try to make sure to make my next post more positive.

Until later.
Bye.